Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Poor Baby

As Alara gets older, people seem to be more inquisitive, asking often "What happened?", when they notice she's missing her hand. Our automatic response is "she was born this way".  Sometimes, okay often, I am tempted to say "Farm accident" or "Rock climbing", because really at her age, I find the question kind of absurd. I know, my tolerance level really should be higher. But I'm more used to stares than actual questions.

What I'm having a harder time with these days is their come back, "Poor Baby!".

We respond with, "No poor baby here. Don't feel sorry for her. Nothing holds her back!" but by the looks on their faces, they don't think it's a proper response. We must be cold, unloving parents. I'd bet they even wonder if she's our little Cinderella. {wink, wink} But really I wish they could spend 10 minutes with her, before offering their "Poor Baby!". What they'd see is this-

a monkey
a child with great problem solving abilities
a happy, giggling girl
a toddler that gets into EVERYTHING
she does everything someone her age should, and more, no slower than others, maybe just a bit different
a child who doesn't see herself as different
her "Can, and Will, do" attitude
a handful- a happy, but busy, handful
someone who lives by the motto "No Limits" and embraces it wholeheartedly

And instead their response may be "Wow, she can do anything!" or "She's amazing", or best "She rocks!".

Because she does. And the more she hears it, over say "Poor baby", the higher her limits will be. She will find confidence in herself, with encouragement, not coddling.

 When she falls we treat her the same as any of our other children, help her up, dust her off, and tell her to try again. WE won't let it keep her down. "No biggie" to quote my friend L. I'm going to try and make this my new mantra for "poor baby" comments. And then invite them to sit back and watch her for a few minutes. Soon that'll change to "She rocks"!